And that's how they met

SweetButterfly did tell me how she met her girlfriend, and I learned that unfortunately in India two girls that love each other have sometimes to choose between their families and their love.

But it still is a beautiful "how they met" story.

SweetButterfly: ok i really should tell you how we met. it the beginning none of us knew that we would be in a relationship
SweetButterfly: you want to hear it now?
Irismi: if you have the time, i'd love to!
SweetButterfly: you may get bored though
Irismi: i don't get bored that easly. Specialy when i'm hearing a "how we met" story. :)
Irismi: I'm ready! even change into my "pijama party" clothes to have a "girl's talk"
Irismi: :)
SweetButterfly: we met about three years ago in a cultural program. my office was sponsoring the event, and jhumka was performing a dance in that event. she used to learn classical indian dance at that time.
Irismi: i'm making the movie in my head.
SweetButterfly: nothing any special honey. i cant remember if we even talked that evening
SweetButterfly: anyways, after a few weeks, or probably one or two months later, i accidentally met her in a street near my office. again, nothing special, just hi hello how are you etc.
SweetButterfly: then, one day i saw her in a cd shop in a mall. she wanted to buy a cd, but didnt buy it as it was too expensive for her. she was a student, so even a 5 dollar cd was expensive for her.
SweetButterfly: she didnt see me, left the shop. i went to the counter, bought the cd, went out after her, and gave it to her.
SweetButterfly: she was surprised, hesitated that i bought it for her, but eventually accepted it.
Irismi: that's charming. :)
SweetButterfly: then we went to a cafe and had some juices together. this was the first time we started knowing a bit about each other.
SweetButterfly: nothing special though. anyways, i gave her my card and we used to talk over the phone from time to time.
SweetButterfly: just about how life is, what was going on etc.
SweetButterfly: i felt that she was quite lonely (her parents separated several months ago), so she used to open up to me
SweetButterfly: she found me as a good listener and like a senior friend.
Irismi: senior? LOL How are you again?
SweetButterfly: i am 27 now
SweetButterfly: senior to her
SweetButterfly: lol
Irismi: then what happend?
SweetButterfly: well we used to talk over phone. on a few occasions we had lunch or dinner together, went out shopping a few times too.
SweetButterfly: we didnt know anything about a relationship at that time. she had a boyfriend from her class.
SweetButterfly: girls of that age here are very shy, and she didnt know anything about sex at all.
SweetButterfly: but she soon started opening up with me, told me about her boyfriend, relationship etc.
SweetButterfly: she liked sharing these things with me.
SweetButterfly: after a few months it became normal for her to call me and tell me anything that she would think important for her (for example, wedding of her cousin, or a school outing etc)
SweetButterfly: she would ask me for advice about her career, or marriage, or dresses.
SweetButterfly: just girly things, like friends do.
SweetButterfly: anyways, after her 19th birthday, one day i called her told asked her if she would like to have dinner at my appartment
SweetButterfly: she said she could not, because she had a date with her boyfriend.
Irismi: at this point you still didn't have any romantic feelings towards her?
SweetButterfly: but surprisingly, one hour later, she was at my appartment, looking a bit confused.
SweetButterfly: we liked each other, but still didnt think about any romantic thing
Irismi: i feel i should have popcorn with me
Irismi: :)
SweetButterfly: lol
Irismi: so, there she was, on your doorstep...
SweetButterfly: yes. i asked her what happened, she said she started to go to meet her boyfriend but somehow came to my place.
SweetButterfly: so i told her to call her guy and say sorry and make another appointment.
SweetButterfly: she did, and they arranged another date the next day.
SweetButterfly: at that moment i suddenly got curious and wanted to try something naughty
SweetButterfly: i called the parlor lady to whom i used to go, and made an appointment with her the next day (same time as jhumka's date) to do my nails.
Irismi: ahhhh.. the plot thickens
SweetButterfly: then i told her that her eye brows look a bit out of form and she can come with me if she wanted.
Irismi: and she did?
SweetButterfly: i was right. she did come, and eventually she broke up with her guy a few days later.
SweetButterfly: i cant really remember when it happened or how it happened. we did bliss each other even when we were not in a relationship
SweetButterfly: we had a lot of problems though
Irismi: what kind?
SweetButterfly: you know, our society does not accept lesbian relationships
SweetButterfly: her mom was very much against it.
SweetButterfly: initially we didnt live together, but we found it quite hard and i had to bring her to my place
Irismi: and your parents, they understand?
SweetButterfly: now she almost has no contact with her family, and i had to sacrifice my social life to a great extent too
Irismi: that is sad...
SweetButterfly: Iris, i have been brought up in a very different way. i dont think my dad likes it, but he knows that i will do whatever i want. he has pampered me throughout my life
SweetButterfly: he probably still thinks im a little girl doing some whimsical thing lol.
SweetButterfly: we are very playful at home but outside we have to be careful
Irismi: Here if i walk around holding hands with a girl people don't even think we're lesbian... Friends do that all the time. And hugging, showing affection
SweetButterfly: yes similar here, but i think if you look carefully you will understand. besides, among friends and relatives, it is hard to hide
Irismi: for two girls to be "pointed" out as lesbians they have to have a serious make-out session in the middle of the street.. otherwise they're just being "friendly"
Irismi: It's very different with boys... if two guys are just a little affectionate they just *have* to be gay
SweetButterfly: for sure. Here is the same way.

The balance of a dominant-submissive relationship

There is a woman from India to whom I love talking. She has a girlfriend and they live happily in a dominant-submissive relationship. I'm fascinated by these kind of dynamics and she is nice enough to explain how stuff works between them:

SweetButterfly: well it will be just passing time with jhumka
SweetButterfly: lol
SweetButterfly: last week was pretty hectic for me, a lot of work
SweetButterfly: so today i fancy some fun
SweetButterfly: my girl is finally over with her period, so i am feeling naughty too
Irismi: really, i'd think the human body would've found a better way to do things...
SweetButterfly: i know... mine is not that bad, but jhumka sometimes gets too tired
SweetButterfly: she gets a lot of cramps
Irismi: bleeding for 5 days and having mind numbing pains doesn't seem praticall at all
SweetButterfly: for me, i just get too irritated
SweetButterfly: jhumka was almost all the time on the bed last week
Irismi: my first two days i just lay in bed, cursing
Irismi: :P
SweetButterfly: i know it is hard, but it also shows you are healthy
Irismi: nothing more healthy than rolling around in pain :p
SweetButterfly: same for me too but i have to work even then
SweetButterfly: but you know, we sometimes get better orgasms during period
Irismi: Never noticed any difference
Irismi: It does help with the pain... at least for me it works that way
SweetButterfly: hm may be its different from people to people.
Irismi: probably it is.
SweetButterfly: when im having period i get overly iritated and sometimes jhumka is scared of me
Irismi: LOL
Irismi: that bad, hum?
Irismi: i can imagine the lightning coming out of your eyes
SweetButterfly: but when jhumka is having period, i enjoy having sex because she acts like a helpless kitten
SweetButterfly: well some of her worst punishments happened when i was in period
Irismi: what kind of punishments? I thought it was most controling domination you two had going on
SweetButterfly: i dont usually use physical ones, mostly symbolic
SweetButterfly: for example, keeping her on her knees, or keep her standing on toes etc
SweetButterfly: on rare occasions i have slapped her, but not very often
Irismi: how do you manage? i mean, how do both of you know the difference between the "game" and some sort of violence?
Irismi: Are there situations were the controling and domination is off limits?
SweetButterfly: we dont have any specific rules. the only thing we maintain is trust. i dont do anything that i believe will make jhumka lose interest in me. and jhumka trusts me.
SweetButterfly: i have tried some pain with her, and i know i am willing to try more
Irismi: So there never was any situation were she actually got mad with you because of something you made her do?
SweetButterfly: she generally protests a lot but eventually gives up
SweetButterfly: but it never happened that she got mad with me
SweetButterfly: actually, its the way our relationship is developed. she doesnt think that she can get mad with me.
SweetButterfly: its with mutual consent and she knows that she can leave anytime she wants.
Irismi: for someone on the outside it seems such a delicate balance to mantain
SweetButterfly: it really is
SweetButterfly: there are a few things that you will need to take care of
Irismi: like what?
SweetButterfly: for example, when you try to do these things, you will need to turn her on and only then propose
SweetButterfly: when she is excited, it is easy to convince her
SweetButterfly: she may get scared but will eventually accept
Irismi: so everything works as a bigger turn on, for her and you
SweetButterfly: kind of
Irismi: that's nice :)
SweetButterfly: another thing is to use your weight, i mean your control.
Irismi: Did all your past realationships worked that way?
SweetButterfly: for example, if she starts protesting or talking too much, and if i dont want her to do it, i just put a finger on her lips and make her stop.
SweetButterfly: well not really
SweetButterfly: i have always been demanding but it is also jhumka who eases it in this relationship
SweetButterfly: i should tell you someday how we started
SweetButterfly: then you will realize
Irismi: I'd love to hear it. :) .. ahh.. read it
SweetButterfly: i dare to do many things because jhumka gives me the space
Irismi: so you are a sort of perfect match for each other
SweetButterfly: so in a way she is also a big influence in this relationship
Irismi: that's just so sweet!
Irismi: :)
SweetButterfly: its normal honey. you wouldnt just pierce the tongue of a girl if you think that she would never accept it
SweetButterfly: so whatever i do, i have to think about how much she can take
Irismi: I've read many times that the submissive one is the one who has most power because it has to allow the other person to dominate
SweetButterfly: yes, i fully agree dear. with another girl, it would probably be different than with jhumka

SweetButterfly: some people would take us as perverts i guess, but i dont care
Irismi: perverts are old guys that grope little girls. There is nothing perverted in two consenting adults having fun loving each other!
SweetButterfly: so true.
SweetButterfly: anyways Iris, i need to wake up my puppy and send her to prepare breakfast. she is still sleeping lol
Irismi: I wish you both a wonderful sunday