The balance of a dominant-submissive relationship

There is a woman from India to whom I love talking. She has a girlfriend and they live happily in a dominant-submissive relationship. I'm fascinated by these kind of dynamics and she is nice enough to explain how stuff works between them:

SweetButterfly: well it will be just passing time with jhumka
SweetButterfly: lol
SweetButterfly: last week was pretty hectic for me, a lot of work
SweetButterfly: so today i fancy some fun
SweetButterfly: my girl is finally over with her period, so i am feeling naughty too
Irismi: really, i'd think the human body would've found a better way to do things...
SweetButterfly: i know... mine is not that bad, but jhumka sometimes gets too tired
SweetButterfly: she gets a lot of cramps
Irismi: bleeding for 5 days and having mind numbing pains doesn't seem praticall at all
SweetButterfly: for me, i just get too irritated
SweetButterfly: jhumka was almost all the time on the bed last week
Irismi: my first two days i just lay in bed, cursing
Irismi: :P
SweetButterfly: i know it is hard, but it also shows you are healthy
Irismi: nothing more healthy than rolling around in pain :p
SweetButterfly: same for me too but i have to work even then
SweetButterfly: but you know, we sometimes get better orgasms during period
Irismi: Never noticed any difference
Irismi: It does help with the pain... at least for me it works that way
SweetButterfly: hm may be its different from people to people.
Irismi: probably it is.
SweetButterfly: when im having period i get overly iritated and sometimes jhumka is scared of me
Irismi: LOL
Irismi: that bad, hum?
Irismi: i can imagine the lightning coming out of your eyes
SweetButterfly: but when jhumka is having period, i enjoy having sex because she acts like a helpless kitten
SweetButterfly: well some of her worst punishments happened when i was in period
Irismi: what kind of punishments? I thought it was most controling domination you two had going on
SweetButterfly: i dont usually use physical ones, mostly symbolic
SweetButterfly: for example, keeping her on her knees, or keep her standing on toes etc
SweetButterfly: on rare occasions i have slapped her, but not very often
Irismi: how do you manage? i mean, how do both of you know the difference between the "game" and some sort of violence?
Irismi: Are there situations were the controling and domination is off limits?
SweetButterfly: we dont have any specific rules. the only thing we maintain is trust. i dont do anything that i believe will make jhumka lose interest in me. and jhumka trusts me.
SweetButterfly: i have tried some pain with her, and i know i am willing to try more
Irismi: So there never was any situation were she actually got mad with you because of something you made her do?
SweetButterfly: she generally protests a lot but eventually gives up
SweetButterfly: but it never happened that she got mad with me
SweetButterfly: actually, its the way our relationship is developed. she doesnt think that she can get mad with me.
SweetButterfly: its with mutual consent and she knows that she can leave anytime she wants.
Irismi: for someone on the outside it seems such a delicate balance to mantain
SweetButterfly: it really is
SweetButterfly: there are a few things that you will need to take care of
Irismi: like what?
SweetButterfly: for example, when you try to do these things, you will need to turn her on and only then propose
SweetButterfly: when she is excited, it is easy to convince her
SweetButterfly: she may get scared but will eventually accept
Irismi: so everything works as a bigger turn on, for her and you
SweetButterfly: kind of
Irismi: that's nice :)
SweetButterfly: another thing is to use your weight, i mean your control.
Irismi: Did all your past realationships worked that way?
SweetButterfly: for example, if she starts protesting or talking too much, and if i dont want her to do it, i just put a finger on her lips and make her stop.
SweetButterfly: well not really
SweetButterfly: i have always been demanding but it is also jhumka who eases it in this relationship
SweetButterfly: i should tell you someday how we started
SweetButterfly: then you will realize
Irismi: I'd love to hear it. :) .. ahh.. read it
SweetButterfly: i dare to do many things because jhumka gives me the space
Irismi: so you are a sort of perfect match for each other
SweetButterfly: so in a way she is also a big influence in this relationship
Irismi: that's just so sweet!
Irismi: :)
SweetButterfly: its normal honey. you wouldnt just pierce the tongue of a girl if you think that she would never accept it
SweetButterfly: so whatever i do, i have to think about how much she can take
Irismi: I've read many times that the submissive one is the one who has most power because it has to allow the other person to dominate
SweetButterfly: yes, i fully agree dear. with another girl, it would probably be different than with jhumka

SweetButterfly: some people would take us as perverts i guess, but i dont care
Irismi: perverts are old guys that grope little girls. There is nothing perverted in two consenting adults having fun loving each other!
SweetButterfly: so true.
SweetButterfly: anyways Iris, i need to wake up my puppy and send her to prepare breakfast. she is still sleeping lol
Irismi: I wish you both a wonderful sunday